written by Steven W. Carabatsos
2nd REVISED FINAL DRAFT, dated February 13, 1967
report & analysis by David Eversole
Well, by the time you have progressed past a first draft, a second draft, a final draft and have revised a final script twice, there is very little that is going to be different when filmed. You may simply drop a few lines and a scene or two to come in on time. Nothing major is left to change.
Thats the case with this script. A line or two here (Kirk compares Deneva to Hawaii and Paris), a scene there (Kirk interrupts Spock to check up on how he is dealing with the pain as Spock retrieves a creature from the surface for study), about covers it.
After identifying his sister-in-law as Aurelan, Kirk thereafter calls her by the diminutive "Lani." Most of us are quick enough to realize it is taken from the last three letters of her name, but I imagine it was decided that some would not get it. Thus, in the episode, Kirk only refers to her as Aurelan.
In Act Three, we have several small bits excised; most of these are extended technobabble conversations about the creatures communal mind, and more speculation on how flying into the sun freed the Denevan from his parasitic invaders. Dropped, probably for time, but maybe because it made Kirk, Spock and McCoy seem just a little too dense. It is only after the second time it is brought up that they speculate the Denevans recovery had something to do with the properties of the star.
The most famous deleted scene from this script was filmed but cut. Jim Kirks nephew, Peter, has recovered and comes to the bridge:
INT. BRIDGE ANGLE KIRK, PETER
The boy Peter is now bright and well, dressed in a small version of the Enterprise uniform. He is smiling up at Kirk as the Captain lays a hand on his shoulder.
Youre sure you dont want to go back
to Earth to live with your grandmother?
Im sure, sir. Dad thought Deneva here
is the best place in the whole galaxy.
Well, your fathers partner said he
and his wife always wanted a boy.
Theyre not like Mom and Dad...
No one ever is, Petey.
(pats on shoulder)
Run along; theyre waiting for
you in the Transporter Room.
The boy formally shakes hands with Kirk, exits to the elevator.
ANOTHER ANGLE INCLUDING SCOTT
The Engineer moves in beside Kirk.
He might want to go to the Academy
later on, sir. Looks like a bright lad.
I hope he decides not to.
(turns to Scott)
If there was no other choice, Scotty, I
would have had to give the order to
destroy this planet. I dont want him
to ever have to make that choice.
Most fans seem to express relief the scene was not aired. Well, given the famous still with Kirk and Peter above, I really cant condemn the scene without having seen it play out. It would all hinge on Craig Huxleys performance. The latter bit between Kirk and Scotty would have been excellent, no doubt. For two men who did not get on well, Shatner and Doohan had the most marvelous on-screen chemistry.
Not a great episode, but not a bad little riff on Robert A. Heinleins The Puppet Masters.
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